Prego Perks

Ever since announcing that I’m pregnant, my boss has been on me to “milk it for all it is worth”. In other words, use my pregnancy to get perks, free stuff, people to cater to my every wish and desire. Those that really know me, realize this is NOT in my nature. I’m a ‘do it yourself’ kinda gal. Even though I was raised in the South, I still open my own doors, don’t necessarily expect someone to give me a seat on public transportation (although I do judge men who push me out of the way to get the open seat), and don’t ask for free stuff.

My boss has tried to use my pregnancy to get us tables in restaurants where we’d usually have to wait and tells me to walk on Bart and yell “I’m pregnant! Now give me a seat!” This past December when we were ordering Christmas cards (late of course) and were shocked how expensive they were going to be for our group, he instructed the associate to “tell them your supervisor is pregnant and we need a discount”. Now if you knew my boss, you’d know he was mostly kidding….but as my pregnancy progressed, I began to realize that he was on to something. I started to realize that people smiled at me more – something VERY rare in this part of the country, they gave up their seat on Bart, someone even lifted my 60 pound suitcase down 3 flights of stairs for me so that I could get on the train to the airport.

Well, this has all become rather convenient. And I’m starting to really use this to my advantage….a few examples:

1. People on bart are notorious for ignoring you or pretending that you don’t exist if you are an elderly person or pregnant lady that needs a seat. I’ve even seen a man hobble onto the bart with a cane get ignored by fellow bart passengers. So after spending the first part of my pregnancy standing up on my 30 – 40 minute bart rides every morning and afternoon, I started to get upset and sometimes very angry. One time I had a man literally push me out of the way when a seat opened up so that he could sit down. My face was beat red. But, I did nothing about it. Any time someone did give me a seat it was always an older woman…someone who I felt needed the seat too! To this day I still don’t ask anyone for their seat but I do strategically place myself around groups of men, stand next to them and their seats, and almost stick my belly in their face. If no one “bites”, I start wiggling my legs, put my bags on the floor, and start taking deep breaths….as if I’m really fatigued…which at this point, isn’t much of an act. Eventually, I get a seat. Who are these people’s mothers??

2. Another bart story. There are lines to get on Bart…for a reason. You don’t break the rules. You stand in line for your train door and do not cut in front of any fellow passengers. The seats are first come first serve and if you are last in line, you are screwed. Honestly, at the end of the work day headed on the Pittsburg / Bay Point line, if you are second in line, you are standing on the train. So one day two guys in their early 20s come strolling along as the bart is about to arrive and cut to the front of the line….which at this point is about 15 people long for my train car. An elderly gentleman steps out of line and up to them to inform them of the line (we’ve got procedures people!). The boy promptly responds with an attitude “THERE AIN’T NO SUCH THING AS A LINE!” and proceeds to board the train…first…and he and his friend get the last two seats on the train. Well, this infuriates me! So I board the train and waddle directly up to their seats, face my belly towards them, and look down. They of course do nothing. So a lady sitting behind them offers me her seat to which I promptly respond “No thanks. I’ll take HIS seat” (as point to the dude in his 20s).

3. After 2.5 years of visiting the same Starbucks and ordering the same drink (except de-café now that I’m prego), they FINALLY know me and know my drink order. They know my name, how to spell it (no more “Jaimiey” or “Sweet Jaime”), and my drink is ready by the time I pay. This started happening during my pregnancy. I am convinced it is because of the pregnancy (who else orders a decaf at 8:30am?) and I’m sure they will forget as soon as this baby comes out. So I’m enjoying it for now.

4. What cat litter?? That’s right. I haven’t had to clean cat litter in 8 months! Because some cats carry toxoplasmosis around and I have been tested and am not immune to it yet, I am not allowed to be around the cat litter. Apparently it is bad for the unborn child. I feel really bad about this one as poor Mike has had been the sole ‘pooper scooper’ for a while now (and we all know how he really feels about Toby in the first place)…I try to compensate by feeding Toby…but then that just makes the kitty like me more.

5. People have stopped judging me on the cookie obsession. In fact, co-workers have been dropping cookies off in my office when I’m not around. Not sure it is the best thing but it is very thoughtful!

6. I’ve been having a busy week and really needed to cancel my dentist appointment for the next day. So I called them up and asked if I could move my appointment to the next week. The receptionist answered that NOT ONLY was she going to have to charge me $100 “because they already had the hygienist coming in for me” (***rolling eyes***) BUT ALSO that she didn’t have an open appointment for 3 weeks. So I play the prego card and state “Oh, that’s unfortunate. It is just that I’m pregnant….5 weeks until I deliver actually…and have had a lot of appointments this week and I cannot take any more time off of work. And if I don’t get an appt for another 3 weeks…well…that may be too late b/c my baby could be here.” Well, guess what??? Magically, the lady had an appointment cancel for the following week (while we were on the phone? Riiiggghtt…) and fit me in for the same time as well. Oh, and she waived the $100 fee. Point – Belly bump.

7. When I forget things at work (like the senior associate in my group’s name for instance), people find it really funny and make some comment about “pregnancy brain” vs. pre-pregnancy when they would blame it on my blonde hair, therefore insinuating that I’m stupid.

I mean after all of the things we pregnant woman deal with, it is nice to get a little break in the end. And, clearly, I'm starting to not feeling that guilty about it.....