Sure enough, 2:30am rolled around (all too quickly I might add). I fed Ellis and he was very happy...so happy that his big wide blue eyes just scanned the room looking for activity. It is very cute...just not at that hour. I thought to myself 'here we go'. I swaddled him and began the rub and pat the back routine. He started fussing, then spit up all over me. The fussing stopped - great! Bounce, bounce, bounce - rub the back - bounce. Then came the hiccups - oh the dreaded hiccups. 3:31am then 3:32am lit up the room as my frustration mounted. I thought about waking Mike but really wanted him to get his sleep - he really goes above and beyond for these two boys and his job and he needs his rest.
So I hugged Ellis close to my chest as I bounced and tried to focus on what a friend recently told me 'he won't need you forever...and he needs you right now' - there are no truer words. I continued to rub his back and bounce as my arms and back began to ache. I allowed my mind to drift to some of the lighter moments that have happened in Ellis' two short weeks of life. Somewhere around 3:45am I found myself chuckling as I thought of:
- Mike's re-enactment of me slightly 'losing it' during my delivery of Ellis. You could say I screamed "ring of fire!!" one too many times.
- The image of the stuffed froggie, followed by Cavin, followed by my dad sliding down the slide in our neighborhood playground as I wondered who really was enjoying that slide the most. It certainly wasn't froggie.
- My mom, in a sleepless haze, cleaning our tomato sauce stained microwave with spray-n-wash. To this day, my microwave smells like my laundry room.
- Mike whistling through the house "this 'ole man, he plays one...he plays knick knack on my thumb", then both of us realizing simultaneously how our lives have changed over the last two years.
- Cavin asking to hold the baby (picture him sitting down with his arms reached out to grab Ellis) only to yell out "Nooooo!" as soon as Ellis is in his arms. Minutes later - repeat this same scenario.
- Asking my pediatrician if it was 'normal' that my almost 2 year old is incapable of sitting still...then being relieved when she told me that she'd be worried if he WAS able to sit still.
- The toddler in the grocery store who pointed to my post-pardum belly and announced that "there's a baby in her belly!" to his mom.
- Cavin suckering the 3 grandparents into opening and shutting the garage door for him no less than 50 times a day (my toddler is a bit obsessed with "THE DOOR!").
- Dr. Lam suggesting we name our baby "Nick" since we all made it to the hospital just "in the nick of time".
- The silence over the phone when I told my husband, who spent a day trying to fix our garbage disposal, that I had just fixed it by hitting the reset button this morning. Those couple seconds (before Mike realized it was the home warranty representative who told me what to do) was priceless!
- The 5 minute conversation I had with two girlfriends yesterday where we all tried to figure out how old we were. Even knowing we were born in 1977, we could not figure out if we were 33, 34, or about to turn 35. I should probably mention that two of us have newborns and the other one is pregnant...so our brains aren't fully functioning. But really, how could I not know off the top of my head how old I am?
4:03am showed on the clock as I woke up from my day dream and peeled Ellis from my chest to lay his limp body horizontally in front of me. Mouth wide open, eyes closed, deep breathing - success! I slowly placed him in his bassinet as I said another little prayer thanking the Lord for letting me borrow Mike's patience early that morning.